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Mum didn't raise her voice often, but when the tiny flame-haired halfling worked up a full head of steam, the volume level from those tiny lungs was impressive. The men unloading furniture from a cart must have thought it impressive, too, as they hunched their shoulders and flinched away from the waist-high virago.
Their supervisor, unfortunately, was made of stronger stuff. Running one hand over his bald, tattooed head, the barbarian looked down at the wee woman, making sure to stay out of reach of the rolling pin that she was grabbing from a special holder at her hip. "You ordered a Vale Briarwood Guest Bed, you get it. I'm not returning it without proper authorization."
"But, but, it is supposed tae be a guest bed, laddybuck, that matches my own wee bed. Nae some ginormous thing that could sleep a family o' seven halflings at once! I be having single guests at a time, nae some invasion! The sales representative did nae say anything aboot it being large, e'en frae an ogre!"
She was working her way to a full head of steam, all right, with her red face about to match her hair for fiery brilliance. "An' that bizarre fir desk! He told me it was small, but he alsae said it was perfect frae a halfling. Och! It barely comes tae me knees, an' I am nae considered tall, frae a halfling!"
The supervisor, Olav, braced himself, trying to look firm and imposing, even while he was cowering inside. Who was this madwoman, and what had happened to the sweet little hafling that had been promising she'd have freshly-baked goodies ready for them when they were done moving?
Ut-oh, thinking about that food, and smelling the scents wafting from the house, had been a bad idea.
His stomach growled. Loudly. At least some part of him wasn't afraid of the tiny woman!
With an effort, Mum controlled her ire. "Look, lad, I know ye're just th' messenger, as it were, but this is jus' nae acceptable. Can ye summon someone who has authority tae deal with this mis-represented mess frae me? Jus' stuff everything back on th' cart an' move it more off tae th' side, an' I'll feed ye gents summat while we wait."
While a local urchin, bribed with fresh cranberry muffins, fetched Sal, the sales rep, Mum alternated feeding the moving crew with simply staring at the over- and under-sized furniture still on the cart, shaking her head and mumbling.
Eventually, Sal swaggered up, armed with order slips and an odd-looking wand. "Ah, Ms. DenMother. So sorry to hear you're not happy with your furniture. However, as is stated in the sales contract, all sales are ..."
Mum held up a hand, stopping his spiel in mid-word. "Lad, if ye're aboot tae tell me that all sales are final, I am aboot tae tell ye that ye misrepresented th' furniture ye sold me. Ye knew full well what I was looking frae in terms o' house pieces, and did nae see fit tae warn me aboot sizes. How on earth do ye expect me tae reach th' top o' that Vale bar, eh? A ladder?"
Before he could respond, she continued on, "Think o' what bad press will do tae yuir business, if word gets oot aboot this!"
He could think about it very well, thank you very much. Mum was often one of the first to adopt new styles, and to get the word out to others regarding hot new looks. Thankfully, he'd come prepared.
"Never fear, dear lady. A gnomish inventor just came up with this dandy little invention to change sizes on your furniture, and it can be yours for just ..."
"Och! Before ye be telling me how much extra ye think ye're going tae charge me tae make this furniture th' sizes I expected it all tae be, why don't ye save the spiel an' just demonstrate on a couple o' pieces, sae these men can finish unloading an' be gone, eh? Then we can haggle a bit, as ye've got yuir work cut out tae convince me tae throw any more money yuir way after seeing this furniture!"
Knowing he was in danger of losing a valued customer, Sal pointed the wand at the offending bed, which was, indeed, "ginormous", even for an ogre. With a theatric downward wave, he recited, "Zamboni!*"
The bed, obligingly, shrank to something more suitable for a human guest.
Mum quirked a brow, but said nothing, as Sal continued on to the very tiny desk, waving the wand upwards this time, and again, reciting "Zamboni!"
While the movers quickly moved the furniture inside the house, Mum peered up at the tall human salesman. "Nae too shabby, I must admit, but how is it on stuff already placed? An' will the furniture stay th' proper size, or am I aboot tae have th' bed change sizes while someone be sleeping in it?"
Sensing not only that disaster may have been averted, but that he might be able to make another sale, Sal gestured to Niami's house. "Lead on, dear lady, and let me demonstrate further! All size changes are permanent, until you change them yourself with this handy dandy wondrous wand of resizing!"
Upon entering, he saw Mum's current desk sitting in an alcove, looking a bit too large for her to properly work on it. Heedless of the items stacked atop it, he waved the wand downwards with a hearty "Zamboni!"
A pot of petunias, which had not been shrunk along with the desk, found itself floating in midair for a moment, before it fell to the ground and shattered. (If you listened very hard, you might have heard the plant say "Oh no, not again" in the moment before it succumbed to gravity.)
"Och!"
"Terribly sorry about that, let me put this back the way it was!" Sal quickly pointed the wand at the shrunken desk, which now had several pieces of paper hanging precariously over the edges. Perhaps his upward wave was a bit too energetic, or his "Zamboni" too forceful, but the desk now shot up to triple the original size, oversetting the delicate pearl floor lamp standing beside it, as well as putting a large dent in the wall from the rapidly expanding desk.
{FWOOOSH} ... {CRASH}
"Oh my, I guess I don't have the hang of this quite yet. Let me jus-"
Grabbing the wand from the salesman before he could wreak more havoc, Mum said, through clenched teeth, "I suspect that repairing th' damage ye've done costs as much or more as this wand. I alsae think it best if ye leave ... NOW"
Eyeing the wand now clenched in one tiny fist, Sal started to make a feeble protest, "But ..."
Whirling, Mum pointed the wand at the carnivorous plant that had been lurking nearby. It, being far more sensitive to Mum's temper than the sales rep, had been waiting to see if Sal would push too far ...
"ZAMBONI!"
Now 3 times his usual size, Seymour didn't need any further encouragement from his mistress, reaching leafy tendrils towards the salesman.
Sal set new speed records as he sprinted from the house. Then again, so did Seymour ....
I'm sure many of us have had issues with furniture sizes in-game, wishing something was just a bit small, or larger. In times past, it required that we waited, and hoped, for that same piece to be created as a totally new item/recipe in a different size.
When Game Update 49 goes live (it is currently on Test), it will include a new feature for furniture resizing! Thankfully for all of us it is a pretty easy feature to use, and won't require quite as much trouble as happened above!
As you place, or move, furniture in your home, holding down the shift key, along with scrolling the mousewheel (or shift and the +/- keys from your numeric keypad), will allow you to shrink or enlarge your furniture, and your housepets. On top of this being a great feature for making your home more appropriately set up for your character, it is going to be fabulous for guild halls, where you have much larger spaces to work with, and want to fill them creatively.
Don't fret losing some recipes too much, as the following recipes will automagically appear in the proper recipe books: woven leaf rug (essentials 39), intricate windcloth rug (essentials 64), exquisite windcloth rug (essentials 68), red damask bench (essentials 71), green damask bench essentials 71), padded green dining chair (essentials 72), elegant green dining chair (essentials 72), redwood dining table (essentials 73), padded red dining chair (essentials 73), redwood bedside table (essentials 74), padded redwood stool (essentials 74), redwood coffee table (essentials 74), octagonal redwood gaming table (essentials 75), green damask couch (essentials 78), red damask couch (essentials 78).
Woven Leaf Rug |
Exquisite Windcloth Rug |
Intricate Windcloth Rug |
Green Damask Bench |
Red Damask Bench |
Elegant Green Dining Chair |
Padded Green Dining Chair |
Padded Red Dining Chair |
Padded Redwood Stool |
Green Damask Couch |
Red Damask Couch |
Redwood Dining Table |
Octagonal Redwood Gaming Table |
Octagonal Redwood Table |
Redwood Coffee Table |
Redwood Bedside Table |
Tapestry of Felt |
Tapestry of Hate |
Wheee!
If you want to check out any of these new features/items for yourself, remember that there is a test_copy server where you can explore with one of the characters from your live server. The command to copy someone over is /testcopy, to be used when logged onto the character you desire to copy.
More as we find it!
Also, on the guild hall front, while it has nothing to do with crafting, it is good to note that there will be a way to get from a player home to the guild hall. The item is a "Magic Door to the Guildhall", and is ... a door! You place it somewhere in a home, and it can then be used by anyone, (apparently), to access their guild hall, provided the hall is current on their maintenance. The door will be sold by city faction merchants. Current price for it on Test is 100,000 status and 30g.
Nov. 1: Small tynnonium brazier will also be removed from the carpenter recipe books, as the same look will be achieved via scaling the tynnonium brazier.
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*The use of "zamboni" in the above mini-story is a fond nod to my early AD&D games, where we did a rather ludicrous run with massively overpowered characters that had some pretty creative flaws. The wand was a wand of wonder with unlimited charges ... in the hands of an archmage who was so senile that he couldn't remember any of his spells. It was triggered with "Zamboni", and things got a bit amusingly crazed as the senile old coot wandered around going "Zamboni! Zamboni! Zamboni!"