EQ Traders Corner

Bristlebane Day 2018: Trading Places

"Och! Make it stop already, frae th' love o' Bristlebane! I need a break!" Mum exclaimed, throwing up her hands in surrender. "Frostfell! Erollisi Day! Mushrooms! City Festivals! Brewday! Chronoportals! Gods needing crafters tae save th' day! Beast'r! I need normalcy, jus' frae a day or three!" She knew, with the Bristlebane Day celebrations about to begin, that normalcy would be nonexistent, but a frazzled halfling could hope, couldn't she?

"Bah. At least you have some variety to your life. Those events sound kind of fun, and definitely better than the same old, same old, every ... single ... day." Her newfound cousin, Hilgrid, was clearly feeling fidgety. "When the Far Seas Trading Company asked for volunteers to help in the Plane of Magic, I thought it would be for something more exciting than handing out quests all day here in the Coliseum of Valor." Her lips turned down in a frown as she glanced at Niami, only to find Niami looking back at her with a very wicked grin blooming on her face.

"I barely know you, cousin, but that grin makes me nerv- ... you're not think- ... hmmm ... it IS the right time of the year for such things ...." Hilgrid's face slowly split into a matching grin, and the start of a plan was born.

The demon is in the details, as an old Norrathian saying goes, and this plan was no exception.

The two women were close enough in appearance that they could be mistaken for twins. (Mum blamed Hilgrid's extra inch of height on height gained from the armored boots.) Their hair color was the same, as well, if you discounted the the grey strands that Niami randomly recolored. Best of all, for the sake of tricking others, very few people were yet aware of their relationship.

It took the cousins over a week of plotting and planning -- meeting every evening to "get to know each other." There were long conversations to compare notes on people they would encounter, detailed explanations of Hilgrid's daily routine, quick baking lessons to get Hilgrid up to a minimum level of proficiency, exchanging of clothing, and, of course, accent practice.

Suprisingly, Niami had less problems with the speaking part of things than Hilgrid had. Mum could speak without an accent when necessary, but simply chose not to over 99 percent of the time. Hilgrid's attempt at matching Niami's accent, on the other hand, needed work, a lot of work. Eventually, Mum declared her "barely passable" and suggested that if anyone questioned oddities in her speech, that it be blamed on a slight spring cold.

Bristlebane festivities were in full swing when the two pulled the switch, using the housing portal system to travel between their respective homes, so that nobody would see any odd arrivals and departures. Mum headed into the Coliseum of Valor for a "quiet" day assigning crafting and harvesting tasks, while Hilgrid checked out various Bristlebane Day events in the Enchanted Lands, checked out the bounce race in the Sinking Sands, picked up the new recipes, and then headed to Niami's house to "do some baking". Much of the actual baking had been done in advance by Mum, but since visitors were prone to arriving without warning, Hilgrid had to have a few simpler things that she could prep herself.

By mid-afternoon, both ladies had silently vowed to themselves that they'd never ever want to swap again. Ever. And that was before either of them saw what the other had done to their workspace.

Mum had started out happily enough (other than some minor grumbling about how her feet were made to be free, not encased in tin cans), but handing out the same tasks, over and over and over quickly went from being a calming break from the event chaos into being completely and utterly mind-numbing for the active halfling. Hilgrid, on the other hand, wasn't used to all the rushing around to check on the events, nor the near-constant flow of visitors that all seemed to need Niami's attention or assistance.

That evening, Hilgrid proved that Mum wasn't the only one with a fiery temper by porting back to Niami's house after she saw the mayhem in the Coliseum of Valor. "What in Karana's name did you DO up there?!? It is total chaos, with folks dragging in the oddest items instead of performing the normal tasks! And it looks like an aviak or ten exploded in there!"

Mum squashed the desire to fidget, and tried for a nonchalant tone. "Och. Well, aboot that. It seemed a bit silly frae them tae harvest plumewit hides an' plumewit meat separately if they were alsae big strapping adventurers. Sae I suggested that they nab th' entire plumewit instead, an' gave a few lessons on butchering an' plucking th' beasties. Much more efficient that way. Someone is supposed tae be along later this eve tae collect th' feathers sae they can be used frae pillows an' such."

"And you didn't think the gods, you know, all those Ro's, might object to the mess and chaos in their hall? Or what it might do to endanger my job?" Hilgrid continued on in this vein for a bit until Mum, who was soaking her aching feet in the pond behind her home, made several "shush" gestures.

"Och, lass, breathe an' calm down afore ye gi'e yuirself a stroke. When Varig commented on it "you" mentioned that'd ye'd lost a bet wi' yuir cousin an' were obliged tae celebrate Bristlebane Day by livening things up a wee bit. He seemed mildly amused to see "you" teaching folks new skills, but suggested that next time "you" take such lessons outdoors, where it wouldn't cause such an uproar.

"Come on intae th' house an' I'll tell you all aboot it, an' ye can --" By this time, Mum had led the sputtering Hilgrid to the kitchen door and had started to step inside. "My kitchen! What in th' name o' Bristlebane's most furry feet did ye do tae my kitchen?!" If her shrieks had been any shriller, it is likely that the windows would have shattered. As it was, the carnivorous plants froze in place and quivered, trying to look as if they hadn't been poking through some leftovers in the hopes of finding something edible.

Those leftovers, that looked to be part of a snack tray Mum had prepared the night before, were the only edible-looking thing in the kitchen. There was a half-burnt ... something ... that had been dumped into dishes for the plants (and the plants, with their voracious appetites were steering VERY clear of whatever it was). There was flour on almost every surface in the kitchen, dirty dishes stacked everywhere, her favorite pottery teapot sitting in pieces on the hearth, and a large glob of what looked to be lumpy frosting on the ceiling.

Niami's face went from pale to magenta in under a second, with her freckles seeming a shade or two lighter than the rest of her face. Hilgrid stared bemusedly for a moment, finally getting to see for herself what she must look like when she was truly angry. Then reality set in, helped along by Mum's convulsive grab for her rolling pin.

"I'm sorry! Really! I can explain!" Words started pouring out of her, faster and faster in a veritable flood as she backed away from her angry cousin. "I was just going to make a simple cake and get that roast started for your dinner, but I was running late from all the event stuff, and then someone named Fennory dropped in to gossip about all the pranking going on just as I was trying to sift the flour, and she got me laughing so hard I accidentally spilled all over, and I had to start over on the measuring and such. And the roast got a late start, so I thought I could just put it closer to the fire to cook it faster, and someone else showed up wanting to talk about the new recipes, and then someone else showed up wanting to drop in for a cup of tea and hear all of Fenn's gossip, and the roast burnt, and every time I tried to shoo folks out so I could clean things up a bit, this odd halfling kept popping out of thin air and startling me. He showed up when I was pouring tea, then again when I was trying to frost the lopsided cake, and every time he made me fumble something he'd just laugh and laugh, and ooooh he made me so mad!" She threw her hands up in the air. "If that Blat ever shows up wanting to pick up crafting tasks from me, I may take a page from your book and get creative on what I send him to do." Her voice hardened and she got a fierce look in her eyes. "REALLY creative."

At the mention of Blat, Mum had stopped backing Hilgrid into the corner, and lowered the rolling pin, which she'd been brandishing in a batter-type pose. After smacking her forehead with the palm of one hand several times, she filled her lungs with an overly noisy inhale, effectively silencing Hilgrid's babble.

"BRISTLEBRITCHES! I know ye're listening. Get o'er here NOW!"

"Why Mum, how lovely to hear your dulcet tones again. You and your cousin were most amusing today. I'm not sure which I found to be more hilarious - the plumewit that got loose in the Coliseum of Valor that almost goosed Karana, or your cousin nearly jumping out of her skin, and painting the ceiling with frosting when I popped in."

Bristlebane glanced at the pair of stormy-eyed redheads and half-raised his hands. "Now, ladies, it was all in good fun. Live a little! Laugh a little!"

Niami simply glared at him. "Fix. My. Teapot." Then she turned to Hilgrid. "Clean off the table, at least."

Without another word, Niami fiddled with a catch on a pantry cupboard, and slipped into the newly-revealed hidden room.

Bristlebane, in his Blat Berisen persona stage-whispered to Hilgrid, "She's always crabby when she's hungry. They didn't feed her very well up there. She'll be less grumpy once she eats."

Mum's voice floated from the pantry, "I heard that! Just frae that, I'm nae sure if I should share th' spare dinner I set aside wi' ye!"

"Awww, don't be like that. Your teapot is as good as new. I promise the new neon green coloring will wear off in a day or so. It is just a side-effect to the spell that I used. And these countertops won't stay bright yellow and orange for long, either."

At the sounds of something falling with a crash from the hidden room, he hastened to add, "C'mon, Niami, everything's clean now, so it's all good, right? After all, you DID want a change of pace today of all days, during my feast days, so you have to expect some ... irregularities."

As Mum exited the pantry-behind-a-pantry, laden down with food, she rolled her eyes expressively as she heard Hilgrid mumble, "I am SO very glad I chose to worship Karana instead."

Welcome to the annual EQ2 celebration of mischief and merriment! This event will run from March 29, 2018 through April 12, 2018. Additionally, there will be special TWO-day hijinks on April 1 and 2. (Normally, it is a 1-day celebration of the Highest of all High Silly Days on April 1, but it will be extended for an extra day due to Easter Sunday falling on April 1.)

This preview will be fleshed out more before the event launches, but, as is my new "tradition", I am releasing the rough article with the eye-candy as soon as humanly possible.

New Crafted

You will find "a Bristlebane Day Merchant" in every home crafting society. They will sell all the Bristlebane Day crafting books, including the new "Perfectly Serious Items to Craft IX". This heirloom recipe book requires level 2 artisan to scribe, and contains recipes for the following items:

Aged Supply Crate
Fresh Cherry Pie
Ham Spit
Large Silly Bloom
Leftover Snack Party Plate
Ornate Chest of Fool's Gold
Rivervale Gourd Jug
Rivervale Jug
Rivervale Trunk Table
Stitched Leather Mattress
Vale Briarwood Nightstand
Vivid Feather Pile
Worn Owlbear Pelt

Please note that the Rivervale Trunk Table allows items to be placed on it, BUT the placement surface is slightly above the top of the table, causing items to float a little until you tweak them with the house editor.

New Quested

There will be no new quests this year, but four new quest rewards, three of which are only available on April 1-2.

Kaborite Stone of Gygax
Quest: Riddled Throughout the Land
Stone of Chance
Quest: Riddled Again
Crimson Stone of Arneson
Quest: Riddled Yet Again
Ruby Skimmer (housepet)
Quest: Pains of Herding

Quest Tracker?

Casdoe from the Maj'Dul server has updated her quest trackers to make it easier for you to track which alts have done which of the event quests, collections, achievements, etc. Bristlebane Day Quest Tracker in XLS form for those who want an editable spreadsheet and the Bristlebane Day Quest Tracker in PDF form for those who want to view the pdf version of the checklist. Thanks again!

New Purchased

The "a Bristlebane Day Merchant" in every home crafting society also sells various event items, including the following ten new offerings with a cost in Fool's Gold tokens:

Golden Imp Plushie
20 tokens
Hinged Potions Case
30 tokens
(acts as a door)
Jocular Patchcraft Hopper Plushie
20 tokens
Jovial Patchcraft Chomper Plushie
20 tokens
Petamorph Wand: Aquatic Grotto Hopper
6 tokens
Sparkling Temptation
5 tokens
Speckled Baby Bovoch (fluff pet)
20 tokens
A Spotted Bovoch (housepet)
10 tokens
Stone Bristlebane Day Jester
30 tokens

Wildlight Clothwork Pegasus (mount)
300 tokens


Stormhold players can experience the entire event this year. Fallen Gate will have only a special server-specific event merchant.

The merchants on Fallen Gate (in NQ near the Claymore, in Freeport, near Execution Plaza), carries the following buyables:

  • Band of Gigglegibbery (tradeable house item)
  • Brilliant Bristlebane Day Boots (tradeable appearance)
  • Brilliant Bristlebane Day Cap (tradeable appearance)
  • Brilliant Bristlebane Day Gloves (tradeable appearance)
  • Brilliant Bristlebane Day Robe (tradeable appearance)
  • Fermented Cabbage Juice (no-trade house item)
  • Gigglegibber Mini-Comfort Crate (no-trade house item)
  • Holy Moly Water (no-trade house item)
  • Tin Metal Helm of Protection (tradeable house item)

(By "tradeable" on the appearance items, I mean that they can be purchased, resold, traded, etc., until they are attuned)


Ocarinah has done a long version and a short version of her Bristlebane Day item walkthrough. Thanks again!

Red Shinies?

The "Bristlebane's Memories" red shiny collection returns this year. As with past years, Dreak's Tin Spike can be found in all (overland) city crafting society areas. The rest of the collection is only in the TS basement instances found in NQeynos (outside the Ironforge Exchange), and in WFreeport (behind the Coalition of Tradesfolke).

April Fool's?

As mentioned above, the highest of High Silly Days is traditionally April 1. Due to it falling on Easter Sunday this year, the special one-day-only events will run for two days instead (April 1-2). What do these events entail?:

  • Rabbit nabbing - those little bunnies that hop around various zones that couldn't be targeted can be grabbed on these days and earn you various achievements and titles.
  • Jester's Superior Gardens in Enchanted Lands - these gardens will allow you to harvest ALL special event harvests from all events, just for these 2 days.
  • Pony explosion! - If you have the upgraded pony that can bring back holiday harvests, on these two days he will bring back a bit of every event harvest. Plan accordingly and either have lots of free bag space or be standing near a depot when you "burp" that pony!
  • The "Riddled" quest series mentioned in the New Quested section will be available from a sphinx in the Enchanted Lands
  • Frostfell crafting stations (and Frostfell fuel merchants) will be available in the Enchanted Lands (along the Lazy Drain at /way -198, 0, -359) and in the Sinking Sands (at the Airship Docks) for these 2 days only.

As an aside, due to how the achievement system works when new achievements are added to a series, such as nabbing 1000 bunnies, if you'd already started on the line, you may find that the next achievement in the sequence is starting the count over from 0 instead of giving you credit for those that you already did. This is a limitation of the code. Kaitheel would like to look into it, but can make ZERO promises that anything can/will be done about it.

Quick Note on Patchcraft

If you're doing the Plethora of Patchcraft Parts quest from EL during the event, here's the fast breakdown of which zones have which type of patchcraft critters:
  • Growlers (bears): Frostfang Sea and Greater Faydark
  • Howlers (wolves): Darklight Woods and Commonlands
  • Thrashers (badgers): Antonica
  • Snappers (crabs): Timorous Deep

Created: 2018-03-21 04:32:24          
Last Modified By: Niami Denmother          
Last Modified on: 2018-03-30 10:50:14          

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