"McScroogle's the name! Profit and Productivity are the game!" The white-haired gnome fingered his goatee and snapped his suspenders before continuing on with a fast-paced patter.
"I'm here to tell you how to save time on all that Frostfell ... stuff. I mean, really, now, you don't need to waste your time harvesting presents, dancing with the fauns, or making your own Frostfell decorations, do you? You're a busy person and your time is valuable! Forget about all that 'support your local crafter' bit - anyone knows that mass production is where it is at for the adventurer of today!"
"Hey now, you don't want to go down there!" Quickly moving, he placed himself between the rainbow ramp leading down to the rest of the Frostfell Village and the incoming flood of holiday shoppers. "That's all just a waste of time down there. Save yourself some time and hang a hard left right here. Go visit Garsleblat Gigglegibber, one of my very own McScroogle Corp employees and he'll sell you everything you need for Frostfell. Prefabricated clothes and decorations! Preboxed gifts! What more could you ask for? Now, go on with you, get over there and spen-, er, I mean shop!"
On cue, the scrawny goblin merchant chimed in, "Buy pretties for everyone!"
Aware of a slowly growing clamor of voices exclaiming over prices and dubious quality on the merchandise, McScroogle raised his own voice a bit, talking quickly. "Time is money, folks! Sure, you could shop around a bit, maybe shave a few coins off the costs here and there, but think of all the TIME you would be wasting! Are your friends and relatives truly worth it, or are they a freeloading bunch of losers who expect you, the adventurer in the family, to support them? Are they really worth the extra time? Spend now and you could have all your holiday shopping done in a snap, and then have more time to adventure and make more money!"
"Once you're done shopping, of course," he snapped his suspenders again, "then you can go down below to that large decorated tree and shake up Gardy Giftgiver for your daily present. Just make sure to hide all your snowglobes from last year before you do, so you can get the maximum amount of giftage."
Suddenly, a very large and very green ogress picked him up by the collar of his shirt. "Yews lied tew me! Yews told me best value up heer. How's you tink dat paying more den twice the cost of da recipee books be 'Best value'. Same books! Same recipees! But dey sellin' em down dere fur sixty silver-something, and you'se sellin' fur more dan twice dat?"
"Time is money!" the gnome squeaked, squirming in Ngranna's grasp. "Now put me down this instant! I'm a very important gnome!"
"No." Ngranna scowled, making her tusks appear even more prominent. "Yews a bad gnome! No prezzie fur you and no more advertising lies fur you either!"
With that, she drop-kicked McScroogle, sending him on an ogress-powered trip back to his personal little island, complete with giant throne.
Discretion being the better part of gnomish valor, especially after a gnome-punting incident, McScroogle dusted himself off, then immediately tried to corner an adventurer visiting his island to help him out with a bit of a job. Weakened by distance, she could barely hear him telling them not to listen to anything that the elves, fae ... or ogres ... had to say about him.
If you hang a hard left after entering the Frostfell Village, you will find a McScroogle Corp vendor. For those "just" wanting a few quick items, that don't want to broker-dive or craft their own goodies, there will be several prefabricated items of clothing, decorations and such. Do NOT, however, buy the Frostfell recipe books from him. McScroogle's prices are McPainful compared to the real prices on them. A bit of exploring down in the Frostfell Village will show you two islands with crafting equipment and fuel vendors, and those vendors will give you a far better deal on the Frostfell recipe books.
You may, however, want pick up a shopping bag or two from the McScroogle vendor if you plan on harvesting and crafting for Frostfell. (The 36-slot bags will only hold the special Frostfell harvestables.)
This mini-article is part of a collection of articles for the GU41 Preview
Created: 2007-12-09 08:17:41
Last Modified By: Niami Denmother
Last Modified on: 2007-12-10 10:13:09
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