EQ Traders Corner

Tinkerfest 2017: Whatchamacallits

"Och, but ye're a lovely wee flitterbidget, are ye nae?" Niami DenMother cooed gently to the hummingbird hovering above the tiny cup of nectar that she held in her hand. She held statue-still as the jewel-bright little bird dipped down to rapidly flick a long, thin tongue into the sugar water.

Some might think that the height of Tinkerfest was the worst possible time to try to lure the glorious little "flying pigs" to her hand, but it was actually one of the best possible times. Those prone to making explosions and other loud noises were mostly over celebrating at Gnomeland Security or other gnomish gatherings, leaving the yard behind Mum's home an oasis of peace and tranquility.

"MUM!" A large shadow fell over the short halfling, quickly resolving into her friend Scarletwing swooping in for a landing beside her.

By the time the aerakyn had settled to the ground, the only sign of the hummingbird was an agitated high-speed chittering coming from a nearby tree. "Ah well," Mum thought, "the peace was nice while it lasted.

"Sorry to bother you, Mum, but there's trouble out in Antonica, and we need a crafty mind or three to figure out what to do about it. Others are trying to rouse some gnomes, but they're more easily distracted than usual right now. Besides, I know you're more creatively crafty than any gnome could be!

"Och. Well, thank ye, lass. What be th' trouble?" Mum blushed almost as red as her hair at the compliment, even as she recognized the flattery for the challenge that it was.

"There's some crazed gnemlin waving around tools around Caltorsis, and dozens of berserk bots. It is pretty hard to follow his babbling, and nobody has been able to figure out how to do any damage to the bots. Do you think ...?"

"I've blown up many a bot o'er th' years. Near Caltorsis, ye say? I'll meet ye there once I get this sugary mess off o' my hand." She made a rueful face at her right hand, which had been splashed with nectar when Scarletwing had appeared so suddenly.

It didn't take long to have Niami flying out to the spot in Antonica. Her trusty Rolling Pin of Doom might be awaiting a handle replacement, but she felt the trip still merited some show of crafty feistiness, so she waved a cooking skillet as she came in for a landing.

It was pure chaos. A good fifty or so berserk bots were rampaging around with arcs of power randomly flying off them. An apparently force field was surrounding each of them, preventing the onlookers who had gathered from doing much of anything about it.

For a long moment, Niami just stared, tilting her head back and forth as she watched the goings-on. Then she moved over to a smaller repair bot that seemed to be struggling to repair another downed bot of another type. Peering closely at it, she dove in and pulled several wires and such from it, then bent over the downed bot beside it. With her head, she gestured to Scarletwing to come over to her.

"What?" She could usually understand Niami, accent or not, but what came out of Mum's mouth was total gibberish until Scarlet plucked the final wire from Mum's mouth.

"Och, thank ye lass. If this works, I'm going tae need ye tae use those lovely lungs o' yuirs tae pass on instructions tae th' others. I'm going tae be a wee bit busy. Folks are going tae need tae scavenge these thingamabobbies frae repair parts." She prodded a repair bot with a large furry foot. "Then they're going tae need tae hack intae these broken whatchamacallits. Enh, let's call them assault bots, eh? Match th' wire colors an' all that. If it works, then remote pilot them tae attack th' berserk doohickeys, since the defenses seem tae ignore them. HA!"

No sooner had Mum exclaimed than she froze, with only her hands still twitching a bit. The sitting assault bot at her feet stood upright, gave a thumbs-up to the confused Scarletwing, then trotted to the nearest berserk bot, firing off some impressive-looking attacks that actually seemed to be doing some damage.

At a further gesture from the little bot that Mum was apparently piloting, Scarlet shook her head to clear it and launched herself to hover a few feet above the chaos. Drawing a deep breath, she let out a most impressive bellow. "EVERYONE, LISTEN! Mum found the way to deal with them. Even beginner crafters should be able to follow along. Scrounge parts from the little repair bots, use those to hack into the broken assault bots sitting beside them. Match wire colors, etc. and you should be able to control them for a short while so you can attack the berserk bots. Again, grab bits from the repair bots, hack into the assault bots, take down these berserk bots before they destroy the entire area!"

Soon there were miniature armies of assault bots taking out their berserk bretheren. There was enough chaos that one might almost forgive them for not paying much to the seemingly ineffectual gnemlin that seemed to be babbling to himself as he worked on the hulk of an even larger bot.

"These surface dwellers won't know what conked them!" Additional clanks and thuds served as counterpoint to the sounds of berserk bot destruction. "The world will soon know true genius! Once I get this mechno-metallic suit repaired ..."

Mum might not have been listening to his babble, but as the field slowly emptied of berserk bots, she took a moment's breather to take a closer look at the worrisome huge suit-like contraption that he was poking at. She was just about to confront the gnemlin when she got sidetracked by the sight of an ancient form of gnomish script on the side of one massive mechanical foot. "Bhoughbh Bhildur". Frowning, she sounded it out aloud. "Bhu - hob - uh - huh Builder". Then she started mouthing the first name faster, until she first snickered, then giggled merrily, drowning out the gnemlin's diatrabe about how he should be the Grand Artificer.

Still giggling, she gestured to Scarletwing, just as a horde of 4 adventurers descended upon the last standing berserk bot. "All those letters, lass, an' all he is is 'Bob' wi' pretentions o' grandeur! Could nae e'en try tae drop th' o'erdone accent, eh?" A snort from someone behind her at the mentions of an overdone accent had Mum displaying her best innocent look, even as she turned her head slightly so only Scarlet could see her slight mischievous wink.

"Pretentions!?! I'll teach you to sneer at me, you pasty-faced surface dweller! I'll teach you all!"

With that, he hopped into the giant bot, and began piloting it around the field, dropping dangerous looking chests here and there.

Mum panicked for a moment, even as she heard "Bob" talking to the small bot that was flying behind him on his demented run around the field, asking it to confirm that the blueprints had been left in Maldura.

She sprang at the tiny flying bundle of cogs, managing to obtain a few promising looking odds and ends. Hooking an odd looking lens over one eye, she dove at the nearest blinking chest. Fingers flying, she babbled at high speed. "Scarlet, they need tae disarm th' bombs. Get blueprints, wire cutters, an' a magnifying glass from th' flibbertigibbit o'er there an' disarm afore they blow!"

Scarlet dutifully hovered and bellowed to the others that were now panicking, screaming, and ineffectually trying to bring the crazed gnemlin and his creation down. When she saw Mum hold up the explosives she'd pulled from the chest and fling it at Bhoughbh, she amended her instructions a bit. "Chase the little flying thing, get blueprints and such from it, wear the magnifying glass, yank the bomb out of the chest and throw it at the gnemlin!"

Bhoughbh was so caught up in his mad cackling and bomb dropping that it took him a while to realize that his own bombs were being used to destroy his combat suit. Once he realized this, though, things got even messier.

The little flying bot that had been following Bhoughbh suddenly started piloting another huge pile of metal that had been mistakenly taken for a scrap heap. Bhoughbh started shouting protocol orders at it, while adventurers did what they did best -- attacking Bhoughbh. Unfortunately Bhoughbh and the bot, which was apparently named Kerser, had the definite upper hand. The adventurers weren't even able to scratch the surface of Bhoughbh's suit.

Niami, meanwhile, had started listening more closely to the manic inventor and his sidekick, so when Kerser mentioned a defense grid, she looked around wildly, then raced towards one of the pylons that had just risen out of the ground, yelling as she went.

Scarletwing, who was getting used to her "interpreter" duties, bellowed "Follow Mum! Destroy the pillars!", even as she herself flew over to throw her own might at it.

Lest they celebrate too soon, they still were unable to damage Bhoughbh's after all the pillars were down, but there was an odd feeling in the air in one part of the field. Everyone that was in that area seemed unable to leave that circular area, and a large electrostatic charge was building up in it. Meanwhile, some mercenaries and various pets seemed to be distracting Bhoughbh half the field away. Even as Mum was flung into the air, her mind was racing. As soon as she landed, she started babbling "Och, Scarlet, he's got guid defenses, but ... he does nae protect against his own inventions! First th' berserk bots being able tae be damaged by th' assault ones, then th' bombs..."

"Short version, Mum, this hurts!" Scarlet panted, interrupting her.

"Drag him intae th' shock-thingie that his friend Kerser is doing from th' whatchamacallit. I bet it can hurt him!" And then Mum was gesturing for people to move closer, even as she started casting area of effect heals to patch up the injuries that were starting to happen.

Another impressive aerakyn bellow cut through the noise and chaos. "EVERYONE! Stay together and BACK OFF those pets and mercenaries. Get them here with the group! NOW!" Sometimes being dragonkin had its privileges, and being good at shouting instructions on the field of battle was definitely one of the more useful perks right then!

Sure enough, once Bhoughbh was in amist the confused but obedient throng of adventurers, he got zapped by an electromagnetic field that was just a little too close for comfort.

There were only two problems with this tactic. First, they were getting damaged as well. Second, the pylons, which had been beaten back down into the ground, popped up again, just as Kerser announced that the defense grid had been activated again.

As Mum rounded on the nearest pylon, Scarlet bellowed, "Leave Bob alone, attack ONLY the pylons, follow Mum!"

Around and around they went, until Bhoughbh finally gave up and fled, claiming he was going back to Maldura.

As most were congratulating themselves on an (exhausting) job well-done, a pair of gnomes that had finally been pried away from the Tinkerfest festivities were excitedly discussing the debris that had been left behind. "They said the defense grid kept going, and going, and going. Imagine if we could make an energy storage device that could do that. We could call it ... Energizer!"

Just as everyone was about to head to their homes, or a nearby pub, for a well-deserved rest, a flustered ogress came charging towards them from the direction of the wizard portal. "The Commonlands is under attack! Bots everywhere! Babbling dark gnome with glowing eyes. Bots we can't destroy!"

Mum looked at Scarletwing. Scarletwing looked at Mum. In unison, even as they turned towards the spires, they exclaimed, "Bob!"

Welcome to the Tinkerfest 2017 crafting and housing preview. This annual celebration of all things gnomish not only added new recipes and new buyables this year, but also a new public quest (PQ). Tinkerfest will run from July 20 through August 2, 2017

Yep, you read the above right. A Public Quest in Commonlands and Antonica tied to a live event. The rewards include crafting materials that will be needed in order to craft both a special familiar and a green adornment. The familiar bits require 500 tinkering and canNOT be commissioned. The adornment will require 500 tinkering, but can be commissioned. :D

New "Normal" Crafted

Myron in Gnomeland Security in Steamfont sells Tinkerfest Blueprints 9.0, which contains a chunk of new goodies. The blueprint scroll requires 25 tinkering to scribe and costs 10 shiny tinkerfest cogs.

Forged Valve Wheel
Mechano Toolbox
Orebender's Toolbox
Tinkered Iceclad Distillery
Vertically Aligned Rusty Cog
Vertically Aligned Rusty Gear

Also included in this year's crafted offerings are eight cutout blocks for the rhodium set (top pic below) and eight for the impacted metal set (bottom pic below).

New Buyables

In addition to the recipe book mentioned above, Myron sells quite a few new things. The below list does NOT include the items that can also be crafted, since they are already pictured above.

Boostbarrel Jump Pack
1 platinum tinkerfest cog* PLUS
350 shiny tinkerfest cogs
Leaper Mount
Clockwork Scarab
No-Trade Housepet
15 shiny tinkerfest cogs
Coil Spring Rockpicker
5 shiny tinkerfest cogs
Hinged Console
30 shiny tinkerfest cog
door - opens counterclockwise
Petamorph Wand: Malduran Toiler
4 shiny tinkerfest cog
Rusty Custodian
No-Trade Housepet
15 shiny tinkerfest cogs
Whizbang Security Door
30 shiny tinkerfest cog
door - opens counterclockwise

*The jump pack is a leaper mount that allows very high jumping. It has a 60% increase in ground speed, 200% increase in air speed, and is a level 30 item. It is lore & no-trade and drops directly into your mount tab. See the bottom of this article for information on the sources for the platinum tinkerfest cogs.

Tinkering 500 Goodies

The Spidermech Defender Blueprints contains the master recipe for a fabled familiar - Spidermech Defender. It also contains the recipes for Spidermech Defender Abdomen, Spidermech Defender Cephalothorax, Spidermech Defender Eyes, Spidermech Defender Pedipalp. These must be made before you can combine them together to make the Spidermech Defender. This blueprint costs 3 shiny tinkerfest cogs, and requires 500 tinkering to scribe and CANNOT be commissioned.

Emergency Protocol Blueprints contains a recipe for a green adornment, Master Control Core. This blueprint costs 3 shiny tinkerfest cogs and the adornment is lore-equip and heirloom. While I have not yet done a fresh screenshot, the July 25, 2017 patch included a fix to add AGI to this adorn.

For both the familiar and the green adornment, parts drop from the new PQ mentioned below.

Hack N' Slash Public Quests

Please refer to the following quest guide for this level-agnostic PQ: Hack N' Slash

Lots of Alts?

Many folk, crafters especially, have alt-armies. After this many years of the event running, it can be hard to track which alt has done what, so Casdoe of Maj'Dul has not only updated her Tinkerfest quest tracker in an XLS spreadsheet, but also made a pdf version of it. Thanks again, ma'am!

TLE Servers?

Stormhold will have some of the event. You will get everything except: aether races (Great Divide, Butcherblock, Lavastorm, Tenebrous Tangle), "The Reticent Tinkerer", and "Hack 'n Slash"

Sorry, Fallen Gate, you won't get tinkering until EoF is released, so no Tinkerfest for you this year.

New to Tinkerfest?

If you are new to Tinkerfest, the spreadsheet linked in the "Lots of Alts?" section will be helpful, along with the wiki, in figuring out all of the various activities that you can participate in. Make sure to learn gnomish from a language instructor if you don't know it already, so that you can obtain all the quests!

Shiny Tinkerfest Cogs, which are used in crafting, as well as for shopping, will be gathered from sparkling "!" nodes that show up on the ground in places where gnomes tend to converge, including the Tinkerer areas in North Qeynos, Freeport, the docks of Thurgadin, the gnome area in Solusek's Eye, Dropship Landing in the Moors, and so on. (And, of course, Gnomeland Security in Steamfont Mountains, as the hub of all things gnomish!)

What About Those Platinum Tinkerfest Cogs?

These special cogs were added as a collection reward for a collection that was added last year. See below for the cut and paste of the information from last year regarding the collection. Note that if you have already spent your platinum tinkerfest cogs from the collection, you can also get one for running the Hack and Slash PQ five total times. (Either/both zones, as they're both the same event.)

The new collection is called: Tinkerer's Extraordinary Toolbelt. First off, you will need to have completed the Tinkered Parts collection (the purple shiny collection we've had for the last several years). Then you're going to need to chase purple shinies in Gnomeland Security AND in Qeynos or Freeport. From Gnomeland purple shinies you will get the old collection bits, five of the new collection bits, and some random Tinkerfest fireworks. From Qeynos and Freeport (both the same), you will get the old collection bits, as well as the other four new collection bits needed for this nine-piece collection, and, again, random fireworks.

The reward is 1 platinum tinkerfest cog that drops directly into your currency tab. (This means that members get 2, due to currency doubling.) The tokens are heirloom.

The shinies are as follows. Gnomeland: magnetized clamp, mechanovariable screwdriver, overclocked drill, vortex pliers, and hypermetal sander. Freeport/Qeynos: electro wrench, antiarcannum awl, dizzwangle grease, and fliptwanger hammer.

Created: 2017-07-06 06:15:58          
Last Modified By: Niami Denmother          
Last Modified on: 2017-07-25 11:29:38          

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