EQ Traders Corner

Storybook: Not Evil Enough (Part 3)

Missed the first two parts of the tale?You can read it Part 1 here and Part 2 here

While Niami spent the next several days on a bribery-through-baking binge, Ngranna spent those same days pondering a list that the tiny woman had given her.
Use large vases or jars with narrow necks to hold the treats and tricks. I should have just the thing coming, if customs frees them up, but if you need to buy vases for this, make sure you can't see through the sides of the jars. Fill one jar with yummy treats, another jar with peeled grapes (they feel like eyeballs), another jar with something else that is slimy but harmless, another with claim tickets that can be turned in for jester's caps, hair of the dog or the death-by-chocolate cake, and so on. Make the trick-or-treaters close their eyes and stick their hand in a random jar to see if they get a trick or a treat.

Ngranna was inordinately proud of her ability to improvise, and underwhelmed with some of Niami's of what was or was not scary. "Wrong season for grapes, dey too 'spensive. Will just get real eyeballs instead, since dey so cheap!"

"Making fake spider webs from thread and such no fun! Ngranna jus' buy several terantulas now, an' let them crawl 'round da house. Dat should do the trick!"

"Slimy but harmless? Dese froggies are harmless, long as yew don't lick yer hands once yew touch dem. Dat werks! Gud!"

Her gap-tusked grin broadened as she wandered around the Freeport market, making lists, pre-ordering items for the Nights of the Dead and so on. Niami would be so proud of her embellishments!

Pleased with her accomplishments, Ngranna lumbered back to North Freeport and her home, clapping her huge hands in glee as she opened the door the wooden shipping crates, festooned with customs stickers, that were awaiting her return. Oddly, though, one of the crates was opened, and large furry feet suck out of it, waving feebly.

"Ooooh! Prezzies! And one is still alive!"

Unable to restrain herself, she began to dance around the room, nearly overturning several items in her glee.

Finally, the ogress-made earthquake subsided, with only a few aftershocks, and Ngranna became aware of muffled sounds coming from the opened crate. "Oh's, all right. Me's wait fur Niami tew peek at prezzies, but me hab snackling dat was so kindly provided first. Gots to keep up strength fur the unpacking, after all."

Smacking her lips together hungrily, she grabbed one of the waving feet by the ankle with one meaty hand. Pulling, she slowly extracted a sawdust-covered halfling from the crate. Well, half a halfling. The other half seemed to be well and truly stuck in a dark vase that had four screaming faces sticking out of the sides of it.

"Gib me dat! My vase!" Ngranna let go of the ankle, making a grab at the upended vase as it swayed drunkenly around the room on stubby halfling legs. An epic tug-of-war ensued, resulting in Ngranna proudly holding the vase aloft, while one purple-faced redheaded halfling sprawled in a heap on the floor, wheezing.

Oh well, it looked like she wouldn't be having a snackling after all, but she tried to cover her disappointment, by exclaiming over the not-snackling.

"Mum! Yews going tew be a sawdust-vase-monster fur Nights of the Dead? 'Granna didn't know dey had such funny purple faces! Har har. Dat funny!"

Panting and wheezing, Mum tried to get her breath back. She'd fallen into the crate while unpacking, hoping to surprise Ngranna, and gotten stuck. Gasping, she simply waved at the other boxes, not even trying to explain to the ogress.

Chattering happily, Ngranna needed no further encouragement as she started pulling items from crates. Several eardrum-shattering squeals erupted as Ngranna dug through the packing materials, as Niami sat there, alternately flinching and gasping.

"OOOOH! COFFIN! It tew small fur me, but mebbe I can stuff a lawn gnome in it and have him pop out and scare folks! Better yet, a zombie lawn gnome! Dat da ticket!"

Large brows furrowed over the label with one of the vases. "Ca-, can-, cano-" Irritably, she crumpled the label. "Long vase with thin neck fur treats and tricks!" she exclaimed proudly. "Mebbe I can put a fae in one, tew, and shake him now and den tew make fairy dust!"

"Fire! Fire! Fire gud!" Exuberantly, she tried to wave around the Oggokian torch without first removing it from the large stone it was placed in. Giving up after a couple tries, she hefted one of the Thulian braziers triumphantly above her head instead, almost setting fire to one of the bats sleeping in the rafters.

About the time Niami finally got her breath back, Ngranna stopped dancing and bouncing. Sawdust, some of it seriously singed, was scattered everywhere, festooning furniture, various critters, ogress and halfling in the mess.

"What yew 'tink? 'Granna need new scary costume before den? Dis dress not scary at all."

With a wheeze, and a barely-controlled shudder over the mass of green ogress looming over her, Niami replied. "Och, lass. Methinks this all will be scary enow wi'out ye getting any scarier. Aye, plenty scary enow."

GU 39 will see the truimphant return of three furniture items that have not been available in the lands for a long time. These are the Lucanic Vase of Enmity, the Stained Bedroll (formerly a newbie Freeport housing reward), and the Oggokian Torch. In addition, we will get three new items: the Thulian Brazier (with colorings that make it a very good match for many of the crafted fir furniture items), the Canopic Jar and, yes, a coffin, just in time for Nights of the Dead decorations.

These items are expected to hit the Test server on Monday, October 1 (this afternoon), and go live somewhere in mid- to late-October.

Canopic Jar, Thulian Brazier, Coffin
Lucanic Vase of Enmity, Oggokian Torch,
A Dirty Bedroll

Edit: Amusingly, when I wrote this story and threw up the screenshots I had been sent, I thought the canopic jar just had some pattern on the outside, and the jar full of eyeballs was my own imagination of a use for it. Little did I realize what a closer inspection would reveal!

Created: 2007-10-01 01:01:11          
Last Modified By: Niami Denmother          
Last Modified on: 2007-10-03 10:08:46          

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